Yesterday I met with my supervisor Mark Harris for the first time (as a supervisee). Mark is simply incredible. The man is full of wisdom, and I admire him dearly. We talked for nearly an hour and a half. I told him a little about myself, my ministry, and the direction that Marissa and I are still seeking from God. Mark related some of the same, and really encouraged me to take seminary seriously. After speaking with him, I can now see that I’ve had a very narrow outlook on going to seminary. For so long now I have viewed seminary as an extension of adolescence. My reasoning? I see college ministry graduates going to seminary simply to extend their student careers. I also see men placing the debt of seminary on their wives, who many times have to take on the full load of being the sole financial provider. Sure, this isn’t the case for many seminary students…but it’s still prevalent. However, I find myself staring at myself. Is this just an excuse because I am tired of school? Am I simply making up excuses so that I can take the easy way out? Sure, those reasons that I listed may have some truth to them, and I am excited about getting my start in ministry now, but am I secretly choosing what’s convenient for me? Also, what does that say about me remaining teachable? Be assured Marissa and I will be praying about these things.
Last night’s lesson was over integrity. Integrity is something my Father has always instructed me to maintain. I feel like the lesson went over well, definitely one of my best, and I learned a lot studying it. I could tell there is hurt in my Bible study. I can see pain in the eyes of some of my class mates, who smile but hurt on the inside. I know it’s fear. The devil is a tricky fellow, and I can tell that he has choked some of the life out of my fellow believers. Doubt, fear, and guilt are all weapons used by our enemy when we dwell on our sinful past. Isn’t that what he does? When we give into the world, we wound ourselves…and then enter the prowling lion.